When Ellen and Garrick invited me over for Easter egg decorating, I was very excited. Whether it be Halloween costumes, Christmas gingerbread houses, or Easter eggs, I'm all about holiday crafts. Not in the Martha Stewart way, though.

Ellen said she wanted to have a theme. She was thinking "Sean Preston," an homage to Britney Spear's baby recently dropped on his head. "Hit Me Baby One More Time" had a whole new meaning. I came up with the Very Taliban Easter ideas, as I had just heard some story on Air America about women's rights in Afghanistan. I told Ellen I wanted her to knit my egg a burka.

We decided to save the theme decision until Easter itself. Of course, we didn't realize that in Portland, practically all the grocery stores close for Easter. My neighborhood is Jewish. Several of my students are Muslim. Why is Portland shutting down for Easter? Anyway, the only store open was Whole Grocer, the organic store, so we could only get brown eggs. This got Ellen thinking - why not do World Religions, or even hybrids of religions (Divine Fusion). So we got going. Ellen knit a burka.

We then remembered that women in the Taliban cannot travel alone for fear of punishment by death. They must always be accompanied by their husband or a male relative. We need a male. Ellen got some more yarn out.




I made an Amish man, but I goofed up with the hair, so he somehow transformed into an Indian woman.




I also made an eskimo with a harpoon and a Hari Krishna.





We had loads of other ideas, but there was only so much time that could be dedicated to egg decorating.