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03 May 2005

A Wedding

Summer Wedding Cake-1


E & G, the NY transplant artists that live upstairs, got hitched on Saturday at the Maine Historical Society. It was one of the cooler weddings I've been to. The reception was at Bubba's Sulky Lounge in Portland, and the dinner was a spectacular buffet of Eritrean and Vietnamese cuisine. What a combo! There was karaoke and a DJ and an open bar - another winning combo.

The last really cool wedding we went to was Maya and Daka's wedding in Alaska. They were married outside on Cleary Summit overlooking the White Mountain range, and immediately after they said "I do," kites were distributed to everyone to fly along the mountain side. Because of the midnight sun, we literally danced until dawn outside. I believe we weren't home until 7am the next morning.

Things didn't run quite so late here in Portland, as bars close earlier than mountain tops, but the mood was equally festive. Loads of friends and family came from out of town to make merry. The groom as well as two of the bride's siblings were breakdancing at different points. I did the hustle. Raf made friends with the DJ. We danced like crazy (my knee made a miraculous recovery). Raf caught the bouquet. The whole thing was a blast, and we laid low on Sunday, recovering from the fun overload.

What both weddings had in common was that the majority of guests were artists. At Maya and Daka's, it was mainly film and theatre folks, and at this one, it was predominantly visual artists. Both weddings broke tradition and were very neat celebrations to witness. Another thing that differentiates these weddings from others I've been to is the idea behind them: each couple planned their own wedding, and there was no one there that they didn't know. When my high school friend L was married, her mother basically planned the whole thing, inviting over 200 people, most of whom L had never met, as they were business associates of her parents. I remember she was mad because she couldn't invite all of her friends because there wasn't enough room. "College kids can't afford to give you a place setting," was the rationale of the parents. It was still a fun wedding, but it was very traditional and impersonal. I think traditions need to be tweaked sometimes. The overhang of tradition in L's wedding drowned my memories of it - and I was a bridesmaid! It was just another wedding.

The two weddings I'm speaking of now I'll remember because they meant something to me. Both weddings, by breaking with tradition, more aptly touched the origin of the ritual's meaning than the big, generic, uber-weddings do. After all, isn't the point of a wedding to provide an opportunity for a community to witness and bless a couple's love and committment? In L's wedding, I remember drinking champagne before the church part with the other bridesmaids. The church part was crazy hot. I remember feeling nauseated, but not much else. I remember L telling me she had already received over $2K in checks in the previous weeks from guests. The reception was fun. Was it a band or a DJ? I remember my parents were there. The details are hazy. I probably danced all night. I do remember there was Greek dancing. More than anything else, I remember hating my bridesmaid dress.

These other two weddings were more personal, more memorable. They reflected the couple's personalities and attitudes. The focus wasn't on getting loads of gifts and money (although I hope they did); it was about bringing their community together, their friends and family together to bear witness.

2 Comments:

Blogger Alicio said...

Excuse me, I cant't find your email address, so I will ask my question here:

Would you mind me using the template of your blog? I think it's smashing! I am looking for a 3 column blog (although I would like to have the 3 columns centered on the screen I think).

If yes, how do I get your code? I suppose that I can't just copy the source code right? I'm a complete illiterate when it comes to this stuff.

Thank you very much in advance!

7:13 pm  
Blogger musafir said...

No post since May 3rd. Trust all is well and that you are going through a temporary phase.

Regards

2:17 pm  

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